Hurt
by Nenshite
Summary: Songfic to Christina Aguilera's song Hurt EstherxAbel WILL CONTINUE FOR A FEW MORE CHAPTERS
1. Esther

Songfic to Christina Aguilera's song, "Hurt". Since the series ended on adultswim, and all the episodes has been aired, I decided to write this. This takes place after Abel "dies", and Esther witnesses his "death". It tore my heart apart seeing her cry, since she is a sweet little angel, the Queen of Albion. Please enjoy.

_Hurt_

_Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face  
__You told me how proud you were but I walked away  
__If only I knew what I know today_

Was this true? Can this be real? Can it be, that this priest who gave her life new meaning died? With her tears intertwining with the blood of the crusnik, dissipating like a breath in the cold. That was how he was, and that what his name meant. Just a meaningless breath in the cold. She remembered his goofy smile, one that warmed her heart like no other man could. She remembered the time she found him on the floor, moaning and groaning. She rushed to his side, and took his head in her lap. She asked what was wrong, and only found out he was being overly dramatic...as usual. Now as last time, she finds him on the floor, but this time, he won't ever wake up.

_I would hold you in my arms  
__I would take the pain away  
__Thank you for all you've done  
__Forgive all your mistakes_

She wails on his lifeless body, calling his name repeadedly. The being that snatched his life away, walks right past them, not giving a care in the world what he had done. Every moment went by as if a whip was wounding her back, blood seeding from her tender flesh. She would never forget what had happened...never. His silver hair was entagled in the crimson substance dying it red...

Esther remembered all the times she had spent with him...when he wasn't travelling or on a mission. He took her out for tea at his favorite teahouse. She ordered one lump, and he ordered...well, thirteen. The waitress was new, and gave him a funny look. He just sported his goofy smile, making Esther giggle a bit. When their tea arrived, he stared at her. Whenever she would look at him, he would quickly look away, hiding his face behind the teacup.

Another time, was when he towered over the balcony, overlooking the city. For some reason he was sad. But today, he was very sad. Esther slowly approached him, wanting to find a cure for his sadness. She asked him what was wrong, and he just replied with, "Nothing, just nothing...", and walked away, holding head low.

...but now she knew, and it was all too late to help her beloved.

_There's nothing I wouldn't do  
__To hear your voice again  
__Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there  
__I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do_

Esther now weeps by his coffin, the very symbol of death. Candles frame the scene, with their light reminding her what a light to the world he was. She longed to hear him say her name. She longed to be held in his arms. And she longed to kiss him, just one more time. The dance of death waltzed around her, spitting in her face as she cried. Crying for her beloved priest to come back, and comfort her from all harm. She wanted to call his name, and he would answer with a simple, "Yes, Sister Esther?". Even the sound of his breath comforted her...

_And I've hurt myself by hurting you  
__Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit  
__Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss  
__You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this_

As the Queen of Albion, she is the beacon of hope. The Star of Albion. Her responsibilities are great, and the threats of her survival are great. But yime to time, she would alwyas remember her counselor, her mentor, her friend, and her lover: Abel Nightroad. She still remembered how he passed on, and what he had told her many many months before. His words were but a mere whisper to her now, and this hurts her even more. She tried her damnest to remember his voice, that very sound that kept her going. But today, she forgot all but his words.

_Would you tell me I was wrong?  
__Would you help me understand?  
__Are you looking down upon me?_

"...someday, Esther, there will come a time where you will not see me anymore..."

"Father?! No! Don't say that!"

"Aaah, but Esther, it is true. You know it in your very soul..." He says solumnly.

Esther held her head low, as she knew he was right. He holds her head up with the utmost gentleness, and looks deep into her dark blue eyes. "...but that time isn't now..." He whispers before kissing her softly on the lips.

_Are you proud of who I am?  
__There's nothing I wouldn't do  
__To have just one more chance  
__To look into your eyes and see you looking back_

"Someday, Abel, there will come a time where you will not see me anymore..." Esther whispered lowly to herself as she stood upon an open balcony. It had been nearly five years since his death, and Esther slowly chose to move on with her life. There were times when she would break down and cry her little heart out, but those times lessened as the years went on. Today was the exception; as today was the fifth-year anniversary of Abel's death.

9:21 Esther saw on the nearby clocktower.

The very hour he died. Small streams of tears flow gently down her cheeks as a soft spring raindrop on a rose petal.

"Why did you have to leave us?" She whimpered slowly. "Why did you have to leave _me_?" She whispered before falling to her knees sobbing terribly.

_I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
__And I've hurt myself  
__If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that  
__I've missed you since you've been away_

She knew in her very being that Abel wouldn't want this: to have her think of him night and day, constantly crying over him, and blaming herself for his death.

"I'll always love you, Abel. I just wish you truely knew that..." She cries silently to herself. He wouldn't be there anymore to protect her from harm. Just days ago, a assassination attempt was made at her speech to the Albionian people. By the grace of God she survived...or was it Abel still protecting her?

Esther's sobbing slows, and looks back up at the clocktower: 9:25

The moment she cried over his body before Leon and William parted her from him.

"Why did you leave me like this? Why did you have to leave me?" She whispered to herself once again. She longed to be in his arms again, nestled next to him in the courtship of love. To have his wings sprawled out over them, in a canopy of blackness, only him beside her.

She pressed her forehead against the cold, marbled wall of the balcony, closing her eyes to retain what was left of her composure. But somehow, someway, they will meet again. If not in heaven, if not on earth, then maybe God would allow him to see her one more time. Just one more chance to comfort her, to see her sitting upon the throne; the beacon of hope. Not just for Albion...but the beacon of hope for the rest of the world to witness in these terrifying days.

And slowly, she raises her right hand, presses her lips upon it, and blows it towards heaven, hoping Abel would recieve their last kiss...

_Oh, it's dangerous  
__It's so out of line to try to turn back time  
__I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
__And I've hurt myself...  
__By hurting **you**_


	2. Abel

Since the last one was soooo successful, I decided to write one from Abel's POV. Now, this starts from the very last episode. I hope you enjoy this one as much as the first. ;D

**Hurt II**

_Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face_

_You told me how proud you were but I walked away_

_If only I knew what I know today_

It killed him to leave Esther like that, to make her believe he was dead. God, did it kill him. But it was for the best, and he knew it. He remembered the last time they spent time together, which was five years ago. He recently heard word of the coronation of Queen Esther Blanchett.

_Queen Esther..._He thought with a thoughtful hum. _Never would've known..._

He never would've known that red-head nun, whom constantly had a crush on him, was the heir to the Albion throne. It almost sickened him that he wasn't there, to witness the most important moment in her entire life.

...but it was for the best, and he knew it.

_I would hold you in my arms_

_I would take the pain away_

_Thank you for all you've done_

_Forgive all your mistakes_

"Ion, we should rest..." Abel says. Ion turns around, and nods obediantly. Dusk was approaching, as the stars were revealed to their radiant shimmer. All he saw was Esther's eyes as he gazes up into the blue abyss. His eyes watered a bit, but he didn't want Ion to see him like this, not now. He quickly takes off his glasses, and rubs his eyes as if he were tired.

"Abel? Are you alright?" Came the _seemingly_ young methuselah's voice.

Without turning around, he nods, and places his glasses on again. "I'm fine, Ion." He states blankly.

The methuselah blinks a bit. "O - okay. Should we set camp?"

Abel took a few seconds out to think, then turns around with a sigh. "I soppose so. It's getting late after all..."

_There's nothing I wouldn't do_

_To hear your voice again_

_Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there_

Later that night, the crusnik awakes to the face of Esther..._again._ Every night he'd been hearing her voice, and seeing her beautiful face framed by locks of red hair. It was eating him up inside, more than he could fight it. The last time he saw her face, was when he had that one chance to kill Cain. But, he stopped when his scythe stopped a hair away from Cain's neck.

Her face.

Oh that face of shock and hurt hounded him night and day. He didn't want to kill him in front of her. NOT in front of _her._

...and her screech when he fell to the floor, blood dancing merrily around...

_I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do_

_And I've hurt myself by hurting you_

_Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit_

_Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss_

_You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this_

Getting out of his tent, he saw the methusehah's tent, just inches away. At first, he just stares at it, thinking of something else. But a few moments later, he turns his head to face up to the sky. He then walks on ahead onto a grassy plane, where he kneels. A flashback came upon him like the red death...

"What's wrong Father Abel?" Esther asked gently, touching his arm.

He shook his head, and closed his eyes, fighting back tears. "It's nothing, Esther. It's not important."

Esther stood there, his words sinking in for a few moments. "If it's important to you, then it's important to me..."

Abel set his head up, without a word in response to her comment. He slowly shook his head again, and turned away from her. "Esther, you wouldn't understand. It's none of your concern,"

"But --"

"Esther! Please leave." He raises his voice slightly, scolding her for no wrong doing.

A bit choked up, she sniffs, and runs away with the sound of her shoes clicking on the marble below. After a few moments, Abel turned around and saw her shadow fading away. "...you don't deserve me," He whispers, before walking away himself.

_Would you tell me I was wrong?_

_Would you help me understand?_

_Are you looking down upon me?_

_Are you proud of who I am?_

With his battle against his tears, he was losing. He takes off his glasses, and sets them on the grass below. Liquid fear and pain gently emerged out his icy-grey eyes, and dripped off onto the ground below.

"What was I thinking?" He whispers. "What in God's name was I _THINKING?!"_ He says a bit louder, then sobbing heavily, his whole body collapsing into a fusion of regret and torment. "How could I be so stupid?" He sobs to himself.

But then another flasback swept upon him...

Esther's heart ran faster than a locomotive, as she held her breath when contact was reached. At first she stayed still as the silver-haired priest engaged her lips in a dance of their own, but she slowly followed his lead as she tasted his presence. Her lips shifted, and ended up on the priest's lower lip, suckling gently as her arms moved their way around his neck. He slowly tightens his grip on Esther, but made sure not to hurt her in any way as he presses his mouth more into her's, as she moans gently. Finally, they slowly finish their kiss, and gaze into each other's eyes. Esther presses her forehead on his.

"Abel," she whispers.

"Mmm?" He says, eyes lightly closed.

"I love you."

He slowly opens his eyes to stare deeply into midnight azure orbs. "And I, you...my love,"

_There's nothing I wouldn't do_

_To have just one more chance_

_To look into your eyes and see you looking back_

_I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do_

He lies on his right side, right palm up by his head as he breathes slowly to relax himself. He was drifting asleep, as he soon realizes he'd been out here for hours. What time it was, God only knows. But now, more than ever, his heart was bleeding, making him curl up even more.

_Why God? Why must I endure this pain? _He thinks painfully in his head, fighting back more tears that threaten to come. He thought he was losing his mind from this one, no, _two _women in his life. Esther and Lillith. Both sweet, both beautiful, both dead in his heart. Lilith's murder by Cain's hand and Esther was crowned Queen, thus losing the second life in his life.

How much more were to come?

_And I've hurt myself_

_If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that_

_I've missed you since you've been away_

God only knew Esther was sincere. Kind. Sweet. Honest. But she wasn't ready for the true side of him...well, YET. If they were meant to be, she would have to know sooner or later.

...and fate chose sooner, all when it was too late.

"...Father Abel? Father Abel..." Came a familiar voice out of the blue. The ex-priest squinted in the morning sun, and gulped. In his eyes, he saw red hair and a nun's white habit, but he knew better than to think that way...

"E...Esther?"

Ion shot Abel a puzzled look. "Erm...I don't think I look like Esther, Abel." He says, scratching his head in bewilderment.

Abel blushed madly, and sat up. "I...I guess I was sleepwalking again..." He said, followed by a sad chuckle.

Ion sighed. "You've been thinking about Esther again, have you?"

Abel responded by doing absolutely _nothing._

The methuselah squatted next to the crusnik. "Abel...I know...I know how much you loved her. But we have a mission to fulfill. _YOU _have a mission to fulfill. Don't let your past slow you down. Not again."

Abel looked up at Ion, and smiled sadly. "You're right, Ion. But last night...last night was when..."

Ion patted his back comfortingly. "I know, Abel. I know. When she _saw_ you..."

_Oh, it's dangerous_

_It's so out of line to try to turn back time_

A few moments later, Abel sat up, and dusted himself off, and walked to his tent, as Ion followed suit. They both packed up, and started off again on their journey, and their quest for Cain...but Abel stopped in his tracks as he thought he felt something. Something gently brushed against his cheek...as a kiss...and he put his right hand to his cheek, closing his eyes to savour the moment.

_I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do_

_And I've hurt myself_

...and a tear of love gently rolled off, and absorbed itself onto his gloved hand...

_By hurting you_


	3. Aftermath

Okay. Okay. I'll probably kill this fanfiction, but the more I read this story, the more I think I should continue this. Do you? Anyway, this could stop at any time, when I feel I have done enough. Or when I think I've killed this enough, whichever comes first.

And yes I know, I have other stories in waiting.

**Disclaimer: Considering I'm in fanfiction dot net, this means I don't own any characters (wish I owned Abel u.u), canonical events, and storyline. Except my own. Now buzz off and read.**

--

Esther sighed as she steadied her balance in her new pointy-toed shoes. It was yet again, another outing for shoe shopping. Why? Because she wanted more comfortable shoes like the ones she wore while she was an AX agent. And speaking of which, she felt a little better today. Ion, which is now her husband, King of Albion. Still, even though she was married to Ion, she didn't love him as how she loved Abel.

Her heart ached with pain again at the thought of his death.

With a sigh she straightened her stockings (with all those petticoats underneath, it was quite a challenge and besides all that, she looked funny doing so with her arms high in the air, a canopy of cloth shielding her view in the mirror. Still, she wonders why she has to do that with all that fabric...) and tried to clear her mind. It wasn't like she tried to forget about Abel, but she tried to forget about his death.

Sometimes, when she looked into the mirror every night, she still could see her beloved embracing her neck, his fingertips dancing merrily down her back, untieing her loosened corset...

"Your majesty! Your carriage has arrived!" One of her most trusted handmaids, Selene kocked lady like. Though her hard-oak door was thick, it didn't stand a chance against Selene's voice. After all, she was a classically-trained opera singer.

"Alright. I'll be out," She answered. She blushed a deep crimson as her hair, as if someone had walked in on one of her fantasies with Abel.

And she was out. immediately three of her handmaidens, including Selene rushed around to gather her outing bonnet, which Esther tied with ease, her coat, and her gun (which she kept from the AX ever since she was crowned. She insisted on keeping it for protection reasons, since she couldn't right well trust her body guards...) which she kept hidden inside her coat, only her escorts knew of her such weapon. Five escorts gathered around Queen Esther as she left her Imperial Suite, and through the beautiful Albion courtyard, the most exquisite in the area.

Finally she arrives in her Cinderella-like carriage, four white horses leading, and four behind. She smirked before it all. The first time she saw this carriage she fainted. Now, ten years since, she just sighs.

After boarding, she greets three noble Albionian women whom always shared the the ride with her (she always hated being alone outside her suite). She gracefully bowed their heads and Esther did the same.

Delta, Lois, and Furnette met Esther five months after Esther's coronation. Esther hired them to protect her from attacking methuselah, although she was already trained (but then years since...you kind of lose your touch). In fact, they were sent by the AX for her. They were full-blooded methuselah. But since they heard so much of Abel and Esther's legacy in the AX wing, they gladly accepted the job.

But ten years since, Catherina was involved in an accident. After Abel's death, the cardinal decided to travel to the Empire, to show Her Majesty's condolences. But half-way, the Iron Maiden was shot down. Only five people were killed - two nuns and three priests. WIlliam was injured, but soon recovered from his broken leg, now walking with an even worse limp. Vaclav was killed, and Tres, as usual, recovered from system damage. Catherina suffered head trauma and was in coma for half a year. Her daughter - Constance Amelia Sforza - took over for Catherina. Only now she is in a weak state, taking three medications a day.

Back to the present, Esther stared out the opening of her carriage, and saw how Albion built up since ten years ago. A little sigh escaped her silky pink lips as Furnette cocked her blonde head.

"Esther?" It was perfectly acceptable for them to call her by her first name, as they had developed a bond not since...Abel.

"Hmm?" She still gazed out the window sleepily, her eyes were glassy with daydreams.

"May we ask what's wrong?" She bent over and touched Esther's hand, which she only closed her eyes, and squeezed in response.

She shook her head slowly and rubbed her temple. "Nothing to be concerned about, Furni."

The blonde nodded and squeezed back. She could tell contact like this helped Esther go through her hectic day. Only when everywhere else she's waving, smiling, giving speeches, signing documents, and such, riding in her carriage is when she has silence.

Furnette was a slender girl, at the age of two-hundred she barely had developed breasts, but her hips were definitely showing signs of womanhood. Her wavy, golden locks were untamed, shielding emerald eyes underneath. Usually, she was Esther's jester, always asking for cookies and piggy-back rides from her two fellow half-breeds. Only from these events did Esther laugh fully. She would laugh on the floor, while Delta stood deathglaring at Furnette with a bishbowl on her head, dripping with water...

Esther gave a snort, accidentally alerting the trio.

Delta, with black hair and violet eyes looked at Esther with worry half the time. She kept silent most of the time and stayed to herself. The young half-breed wore black, simular to the AX's uniform, but not so much as to tip rebellionists off. Her fangs stuck out half the time, indicating her methuselah bloodline. She hated drinking blood, especially when her job is to protect the Queen. Her hair was sleek and long, down to the bottom of her breasts. Generally, she didn't like wearing clingy clothes, as to protect Her Highness from attracting any leery men. Her body was fully mature, her age around 361 and counting. Basically, she was Hugue with black hairs and female organs.

"Your Majesty?" Delta's low and considerate but womanly voice was laced with worry.

Esther just chuckled and shook her head. "I don't think a fishbowl would catch on the runway, will it?" She snickered.

Delta blushed and looked out the window.

Furnette snickered "Yeah Delta!"

Lois snorted. "Of course not!" She nudged Delta who just deathglared at her.

Lois, about Esther's height was more of a tomboy. Her orangish hair was cropped, and wore skull earrings. She barely wore any lipstick, except for eyeliner and green eyeshadow - her usual.

Her clothes were boyish - only a t-shirt and baggy cargo pants - with simple black sneakers. Her fangs rarely came to view. She was bisexual, mostly lesbian, but she merely considered Her Majesty and her fellow protectors as close friends.

Esther was getting another show by her three methuselah guardians. All at once, while they were fighting amongst themselves, Esther forgot all her cares and woes, and felt like her previous little nun self. All she needed was Abel to --

And suddenly, her laughter died, and her throat closed.

--

Another season in Abel's life has finally came to a close. Like a wounded soldier exiting a hospital from combat, he was wounded. His left arm was in a cast, but everything else was perfectly normal. His priest's robes were tattered, some people mistook him for a street bum, and so gave him some change. He just smiled wistfully and gave it back with a simple explanation. Years ago, he would have taken the money, but that was when he was just a travelling priest with a cute redhead nun at his side.

Another sigh, another push up on the glasses.

Ten years ago, he fled from the Vatican to fight his brother. And two years ago, he suceeded, but barely. With all the loss of blood he had to do something, and that something made him feel even worse.

Abel counted mentally in his mind - nine, ten...eleven...no, twenty. Twenty methuselah he drained. He would've preferred to die rather than to take twenty methuselah souls. But...somehow...

...her face kept telling him to live on. Keep living. Push on no matter what.

In Albion, things have really looked up since Esther's coronation. The air was cleaner, there was more cafe's (to his disadvantage. Maybe he should've kept those dinars...), more security, and a place safe haven for peaceful vampires.

A pang of guilt swept through him.

_Twenty methuselah...dear Lord forgive me._

But, he thought, those methuselah tried to kill him. So what other options did he have? Kill or be killed, the number one rule of life.

He never contacted the Vatican while on his self-set mission for Cain. Ion became injured from an attack by Isaak, and almost killed by Dietrich. Insisting that Ion go back to safety, Ion reluctantly returned to the Empire. Ion always had a obsession on Esther, but never dared to tell Abel about it, went on to marry Her Highness, the Queen of Albion. Abel, however knew of his love for Esther. And, he thought, it was just harmless. He knew his Esther would never marry unless strictly pressured to do so. Even then, the Feisty Star would resist.

He had, however heard news of the accident from the Iron Maiden ten years earlier. It saddened him to hear that Vaclav didn't make it, neither did the two other priests and nuns. Catherina's daughter however, had never met Abel. She only heard of him through her mother, Caterina Sforza.

He sighed. What awaited him at the Vatican?

At a crossroads, there was very little traffic. He looked to the left, then to the right before walking on ahead.

Abel wondered how Esther was doing. What was she thinking of? Was she thinking of him? He would be so lucky as to have even that. But he knew her, and he knew she would be thinking of him.

In his mind he carefully considered his options: He could return to the Vatican, where he could live the same life he lived the earlier ten years; be homeless in Albion; go to the Empire and ask Asta for a few month's time for a stay; or go to Darkland and stay desolate the rest of his days.

As much as he wanted to see Asta again, he knew she would crown him if he did even the slightest thing wrong. Being homeless in Albion was certainly not an option for anyone, and being alone in the rest of the world just unsettled Abel's stomach. So that left the only option, the most depressing one: living in the Vatican with new faces, and some aging.

Speaking of which, he really should've bought that sandwhich --

The whinnying of horses breaks his thought. He turned his head and saw that they were coming right _at him!!_ And before he (or anyone else for that matter) knew it, he was trampled by a stampede of horses and a carriage.

--

Esther sighed as she leaned her head against her palm. Sooner or later she would be in a new pair of comfortable shoes, fit for a nun-turned queen --

Suddenly, the carriage rocked back and forth as she faintly heard the scream of some poor soul. Her heart ached for them dearly.

Then, they stopped. She could see a crowd gathering on the sidelines. She looked out her opening, and tried to see what it was that caused the ruckus. A hand on her shoulder reminded her of her AX body guards. "Stay here," Delta, closest to the carriage door said. Esther nodded and allowed Delta to exit her hand at her side for her hand gun.

"It's a priest!"

"Somebody do something!!"

"Call an ambulance!"

She relaxed by a few notches and looked underneath. The said priest, with matted white hair caught in the spokes and his robes tattered, whether it was from his trampeling or if he was just a street bum that Esther needed to sign a decree to give them temporary homes. She'd have to get back to her later. A few feet away from where he was impacted, a pair of broken round glasses lay bent in the street. Her heart felt a pang of pity as a rush of police ment and an ambulance came running over.

As if time had slowed, Delta walked to the glasses. The police had loosened his hair from the spokes and turned him on his back. He was breathing, and his eyelids were twitching like mad.

She picked them up and studied them carefully. Where had she seen these before? Delta walked back to the carriage and handed Esther the broken spectacles.

Esther's eyes widened ever so slightly as she held the glasses before her as if they were holy.

Furnette shook her head slowly so Her Majesty wouldn't see her.

"Is he...?" Esther still gazed at the glasses. Her question wasn't about his life, but whom this man's identity was.

Delta opened the carriage door for the queen. Esther, with grace and dignity stepped out and nodded lowly to the staring bystanders. She looked to her very right at the stretcher, and her heart stopped.

His eyes cracked open.

"Hello Sister Esther," Echoed Abel's words in her subconscience, as the man before her grinned sheepishly and turned a bright tomato red.

--

**A/N: Like it? Don't? FLAMES WILL BE USED TO COOK MY BEEF RAMEN. PLZKTHX.**

**vv Clicky below vv**


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